1. (via lohanthony)

    13 hours ago  /  11,169 notes  /  Source: fuckjerry

  2. sneakyfeets:

andrewthepoet:

One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab. 
The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.
Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.
The End.

dump her

    sneakyfeets:

    andrewthepoet:

    One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab. 

    The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.

    Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.

    The End.

    dump her

    (via pangeasexual)

    13 hours ago  /  306,091 notes  /  Source: andrewthepoet

  3. tatianaxvaldez said: who's booty have you claimed?

    lohanthony:

    ryan gossling. dat ass has been mine since the mickey mouse club

    13 hours ago  /  432 notes  /  Source: lohanthony

  4. pondprincen:

    bottomjared:

    Hey! So, Coming Out Day is coming up soon (Oct. 11) and I just want to post a very stern reminder to NOT out anyone without their explicit permission.

    Do NOT out anyone.

    Got it?

    Okay.

    this is also a less important point, but still worth noting: DO NOT “come out” as an ally. don’t you dare.

    (via discontentramblings)

    13 hours ago  /  72,862 notes  /  Source: bottomjared

  5. photo

    13 hours ago  /  7,568 notes  /  Source: ultrafacts

  6. ledamemangociana:

believebeluga:

cetaceandreams:

Levitate

Wingardium leviorca

you diDN’T

    ledamemangociana:

    believebeluga:

    cetaceandreams:

    Levitate

    Wingardium leviorca

    you diDN’T

    (via thatguyfromthatplaceoverthere)

    15 hours ago  /  91,500 notes  /  Source: cetaceandreams

  7. rotition:

I’m looking for a tumblr girlfriend to make famous! Following everyone back :) <3

    rotition:

    I’m looking for a tumblr girlfriend to make famous! Following everyone back :) <3

    (via lntemperanced)

    15 hours ago  /  427,242 notes  /  Source: origin68.com

  8. boys-and-suicide:

Picture yourself as the flower. These walls that have pushed you under for so long. Inside these barriers was a life that no one noticed. You were just a helpless seed. Depression put you so far down and you didn’t even want to escape it. You wanted your life to just be a blank nothingness. And then came that single drop of rain. The smallest of a drip came through your walls and nourished you with knowledge outside of what you knew. There was something bigger because with depression all we see is the sadness inside ourselves but never actually see what the world is as a whole. You built your walls up so high that no one can come in or out. Let the water drops represent a person who has had an impact on you. As we know water is essential for a flower’s survival and growth. The same goes for people because the only true way to break this boundary is getting support from others on the other side who want to pull you out of this. As more time passes you start growing stronger and stronger because the more support you have the stronger you become. Eventually that bud not quite sprouted just barely pops through. You start seeing a whole new perspective, it’s a whole new world that you never have seen before and there right by your side is your friends ready to aid you. Again it rains and you grow even more. But what’s this? Your walls are starting to crack? You now have even more room to let even more raindrops fill you up. Eventually you are in full bloom above the barriers and have started to see clearly again.All it took was a single rain drop so please just let that one person in because that’s all it takes to do such extraordinary things. Please don’t keep pushing people away because you are just as beautiful as this flower which is beautiful and unique. There are so many seeds still in the dark and need your help too.

    boys-and-suicide:

    Picture yourself as the flower. These walls that have pushed you under for so long. Inside these barriers was a life that no one noticed. You were just a helpless seed. Depression put you so far down and you didn’t even want to escape it. You wanted your life to just be a blank nothingness. And then came that single drop of rain. The smallest of a drip came through your walls and nourished you with knowledge outside of what you knew. There was something bigger because with depression all we see is the sadness inside ourselves but never actually see what the world is as a whole. You built your walls up so high that no one can come in or out. Let the water drops represent a person who has had an impact on you. As we know water is essential for a flower’s survival and growth. The same goes for people because the only true way to break this boundary is getting support from others on the other side who want to pull you out of this. As more time passes you start growing stronger and stronger because the more support you have the stronger you become. Eventually that bud not quite sprouted just barely pops through. You start seeing a whole new perspective, it’s a whole new world that you never have seen before and there right by your side is your friends ready to aid you. Again it rains and you grow even more. But what’s this? Your walls are starting to crack? You now have even more room to let even more raindrops fill you up. Eventually you are in full bloom above the barriers and have started to see clearly again.
    All it took was a single rain drop so please just let that one person in because that’s all it takes to do such extraordinary things. Please don’t keep pushing people away because you are just as beautiful as this flower which is beautiful and unique. There are so many seeds still in the dark and need your help too.

    (via boys-and-suicide)

    15 hours ago  /  3,947 notes  /  Source: boys-and-suicide

  9. 15 hours ago  /  918 notes  /  Source: mockingjayy

  10. 15 hours ago  /  29,098 notes  /  Source: michaelsocha